Five things I learned when hosting my first event

Lessons on fear, perfectionism, nervous system regulation, and building community as a therapist

Let me paint the picture.

I’m in an 8-week business program, and I challenged myself to host an event to see if local therapists would be interested. And of course, the badass in me said, “Yup, I’ll rise to the challenge.”

But the day of the event? Whew. My nervous system had other thoughts.

The fear parts showed up LOUD:

• What if no one comes?

• What if everyone hates it?

• What if this is a disaster?

All the what ifs were trying to keep me safe. I learned from a young age that staying small meant staying protected. And hosting an event? That was not playing small.

So I paused. I grounded myself. I reminded myself: I can do hard things. And I reframed it as a learning opportunity, It didn’t have to be perfect. 

In doing so, I learned five powerful lessons.

1. I can do hard things

As a first-gen in many ways, the first to go to college, get my master’s, become an entrepreneur. I often minimize my accomplishments because “I was supposed to do that.” I was supposed to graduate. Supposed to get a job.

But when you slow down and really reflect on everything it took to get here? It’s powerful.

I didn’t just show up to this event. There was preparation, planning, emotional labor, and courage that happened long before the day of the event. I hadn’t been giving myself credit for any of it.

In a world that only values output, the unseen work gets ignored. Pause for a moment and reflect on everything you’ve done to get to this point in your life. It matters.

2. Pivot, it’s okay if things to change

Perfectionism is the death of creativity and authenticity.

When we’re rigid with ourselves and others, there’s no room for play or expansion. For a long time, I believed everything had to be perfect and that I had to be perfect. I found safety in planning things perfectly in my head.

But that kept me stuck.

I would imagine beautiful events, meaningful moments yet fear stopped me from following through because what if reality didn’t match the vision? So I stayed in my head, where everything was “perfect.”

Letting go of perfection created space for presence. Instead of thinking “It has to be perfect,” I shifted to “It will be what it needs to be.”

And because of that, I felt calmer, more grounded, and more connected. The conversations during the event were insightful and real.

3. Growth lives on the other side of fear

It takes bravery to try something new.

I had to learn to trust myself enough to believe that “failure” is really just information. A learning opportunity. When fear showed up, I asked myself: “What lesson am I meant to learn here?”

That question helped me zoom out and honor my fear instead of fighting it. Of course I was scared, I was doing something new. And I could still do it while being scared.

As the event went on, my body slowly relaxed. It began to trust that I could handle being in unfamiliar territory. Growth isn’t about the destination but about the journey and the relationship we build with ourselves along the way.

4. I can be bold, brave, and scared at the same time

I come from generations of women who had no choice but to hustle and push through. They learned to bury fear, numb it, ignore it because they had to survive. 

But their fears live in my body.

What a privilege it is to relearn safety with fear instead of bypassing it.

We’re often told to be fearless.

I can be bold because I acknowledge my fear, not because I erase it. The next time fear shows up, I invite you to name what feels scary instead of pushing past it. There’s wisdom there.

5. Letting go of failure makes room for experimentation

Play. Curiosity. Experimentation. Trying something new.

This energy invites us back into wonder, into that childlike “Let’s see how this goes” instead of “It has to go this way.”

We cannot fail at being human. We are perfectly imperfect by design.

I told myself the only way this event could truly fail was if I didn’t show up at all. And I showed up! That alone is worth celebrating.

You don’t have to be fearless. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing.

Let yourself experiment. Let yourself be seen. Let yourself show up messy, scared, and brave all at once.

And if you’re craving community, support, or a space where you don’t have to do this alone? Join my waitlist for the Malas Hijas Club

You are allowed to try. You are allowed to take up space!