Choosing Yourself Is Not Selfish (Even When It Feels Like It)

I grew up with a single mothers and saw her selflessness as an act to be admired. What I didn’t see at the time was how that dimmed her light.

I grew up believing that being good meant being accommodating, saying yes even when I wanted to say no. That being loved meant being useful. That my worth was tied to how much I did.  As the eldest daughter, I learned early on that my needs came second, often time last.

And for a long time, I wore that like a badge of honor.

But there came a moment. It was quiet, uncomfortable and undeniable. When my body started to say no even though my mouth kept saying yes. I was exhausted. Disconnected. Pouring into spaces and people that no longer poured back.

That’s when I realized something radical: choosing myself felt wrong because it was unfamiliar, not because it was harmful.

We’re often taught that self-sacrifice is love. That rest must be earned. That boundaries make us difficult. Especially for women, choosing yourself can feel like betrayal.

But here’s what I’m learning: Self-love isn’t selfish. It’s healing, it's powerful.

Choosing yourself doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop abandoning yourself. It means you begin to listen to your body, your intuition, and your needs. You stop waiting for permission.

And yes, people might be uncomfortable. Yes, guilt might show up. Yes, fear might whisper, “Who do you think you are?”

Let it whisper. And choose yourself anyway.

Because every time you do, you heal a little more. Not just for you but for the generations of women who never had the opportunity to choose themselves. 

If you’re tired of choosing everyone else first…If you’re ready to stop abandoning yourself to keep the peace—

The Malas Hijas Club was created for you.

This is a space for women who are done shrinking, done over-giving, and ready to practice choosing themselves without guilt. Together, we unlearn the “good daughter” conditioning and build the courage to listen to our own needs.

Join the Malas Hijas Club waitlist and be the first to know when doors open.

Join the Malas Hijas Club Waitlist